I just returned from an incredible weekend where God touched my life in so many ways and through so many people. To be absolutely honest, I dreaded this Valentine's Day, the first time I had been single on February 14th since I was 14. But the day was spent with my friends, relaxing and actually doing crazy things. I was removed from "the world" and was spared the crazy people running around with flowers and could really just have fun with my friends. RUF got major points in my book for having 2 fun games (much better than the fall) AND insanely fun sledding. (Need I say that there were two girls who were termed "extremists".. and that I was one of them?) It didn't matter that until the night before there had been no snow, we found a hill in the shade where there was enough snow to go crazy sledding and went wild.. it was so much fun.
I guess the reason I enjoyed the weekend so much was the it was probably the first time since I've been here that I really felt at home.. I wasn't worried about what people would think of me, I didn't feel awkward just sitting in the common room and studying.. I played cards with people I liked until all hours of the night.. I guess I'm coming to realize that RUF really is becoming "mine", in a very good way.. it will never replace Young Life (and I did heave a couple of sighs over missing the winter conference this weekend), but I can still love the people just as much.
The speaker over the weekend was Stuart, the pastor from Grace (and the sermons were the thing about Grace that I wholeheartedly approve of). The first message was on loving God, the second was on loving others. In a "divine moment" that I felt like really hasn't happened in a long time, the second message was made for me. He talked about people that have been so hurt by love that they build up walls and feel like it will just be better for them never to let anyone get close and how that is not part of God's plan at all, and if we let Him teach us how to love and let our love come from Him, then everything will be ok. I was really struggling this week with disillusionment, feeling like there really is no reason to ever let people get close to you because all anyone does is disappoint you and there is no real love in this world, only pain. And his sermon really, really helped me. It was great, because I went into the retreat not expecting any kind of spiritual renewal, but I was so overwhelmed by God's grace and love that it was just really neat. :) (And I remembered all the years that I went to the winter conference longing for renewal, and then was disappointed.)
So now I'm back, relaxed, renewed, and refreshed, and ready to dive into the last few weeks of the quarter.
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So glad that God met your need this past weekend. We have pretty much all been in the same place you are about the pain of love and then rejection. That is why I always told my girls that putting faith (and too much trust) in people will only disappoint. But your speaker was right about being able to love only through God. Glad you were renewed and refreshed and ready to get back to the books.
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